freddieandersen:

biotechwitch:

the statue in the bottom right is Le génie du mal, carved by guillame geefs to replace a different lucifer (known as either Le génie du mal or L’ange du mal) carved by his younger brother. why did joseph geefs’ lucifer get removed from the cathedral? it was too sexy. the statue was too sexy by far.

st. paul’s cathedral in liége went from one lucifer, whom they called ‘too sublime’ and removed because he was distracting ‘pretty penitent girls,’ to another lucifer, who they’ve left there for 170 years even though he’s so hot that satanists visit the cathedral to meditate in the presence of this Most Sexy Of Lucifers

here’s how i imagine that went down.

liege cathedral: hmm. you know what we need? a nice satan for our church. let’s ask joey geefs

joseph geefs: sculpts this

liege cathedral: no!! too hot!! now we all want to fuck lucifer! we need a different satan. let’s ask… the sexy lucifer sculptor’s BROTHER. yes. willy geefs is older so he definitely doesn’t want to fuck lucifer

guillaume geefs, who DOES want to fuck lucifer, and the only sign of his being older than his brother is that the lucifer he wants to fuck is somewhat older: sculpts this

liege cathedral: shit. well we don’t have any more money for lucifers so i guess we’ll keep this sexy lucifer

mlm, straight girls, and satanists in the vicinity of liege: NICE

klingoff:

hell is right-clicking to save an image and accidentally clicking ‘email image’ and having to wait forty years for some email program you didn’t even know existed to rise from its slumber like some lovecraftian ancient god, meanwhile the fans on your laptop are preparing for takeoff and you stare dead-eyed as the rainbow spirals, spirals, spirals. you wait and suffer this cosmic karma. days pass. “just a few more seconds” you slur. your laptop freezes and the concept of time is no longer comprehensible. your family and friends forget your name and you fade from existence.

disappointed-pero-not-surprised:

bubblybikerides:

marshmallowfrootloops:

covertplantigrade:

subtly-shakespearean:

the-start-of-something8059:

i threw a bunch of vines into a shakespearean translator and they’re all great great but this one is definitely my favorite:

“Love looks with the heart, not with the mind, and therefore, Cupid is blind wench. I ain’t nev’r gonna cease loving thee… wench”

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@shadowforce25

“Can i privee recieveth a waffle?” Bitch this took me out