artykyn:

prideling:

gunvolt:

im going to have a stroke

Instead try…

Person A: You know… the thing
Person B: The “thing”?
Person A: Yeah, the thing with the little-! *mutters under their breath* Como es que se llama esa mierda… THE FISHING ROD

As someone with multiple bilingual friends where English is not the first language, may I present to you a list of actual incidents I have witnessed:

  • Forgot a word in Spanish, while speaking Spanish to me, but remembered it in English. Became weirdly quiet as they seemed to lose their entire sense of identity.
  • Used a literal translation of a Russian idiomatic expression while speaking English. He actually does this quite regularly, because he somehow genuinely forgets which idioms belong to which language. It usually takes a minute of everyone staring at him in confused silence before he says “….Ah….. that must be a Russian one then….”
  • Had to count backwards for something. Could not count backwards in English. Counted backwards in French under her breath until she got to the number she needed, and then translated it into English.
  • Meant to inform her (French) parents that bread in America is baked with a lot of preservatives. Her brain was still halfway in English Mode so she used the word “préservatifes.” Ended up shocking her parents with the knowledge that apparently, bread in America is full of condoms.
  • Defined a slang term for me……. with another slang term. In the same language. Which I do not speak.
  • Was talking to both me and his mother in English when his mother had to revert to Russian to ask him a question about a word. He said “I don’t know” and turned to me and asked “Is there an English equivalent for Нумизматический?” and it took him a solid minute to realize there was no way I would be able to answer that. Meanwhile his mom quietly chuckled behind his back.
  • Said an expression in English but with Spanish grammar, which turned “How stressful!” into “What stressing!”

Bilingual characters are great but if you’re going to use a linguistic blunder, you have to really understand what they actually blunder over. And it’s usually 10x funnier than “Ooops it’s hard to switch back.”

Source: gunvolt

Crazy Yearbook Quotes From Students Back in 1911

coldlikedeath:

spocksplum:

chiefguideandcentre:

sufganiyotdyke:

culturenlifestyle:

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These alarming and quirky yearbook quotes are found inside Spokane High’s Class of 19111, which include some pretty bizarre ambitions. Some of them include “ambitions” of murdering the faculty and marrying a dwarf. Take a look at their perplexing words below.

Keep reading

this is wonderful but i urge everybody to check out the original for more gems such as

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its refreshing to know that we were and will always be little shits

Let 👏 Alice 👏 Winslow 👏 Rest 👏

Please go away and let me sleep. Oh my god. We’ve always been tired then

softurl:

garbage-empress:

PSA

@pregnantseinfeld informed me that I was in a Buzzfeed article (with @creamynut and @bootyscientist2) a few months ago and had no idea.

Turns out that Buzzfeed just embeds Tumblr posts.

So if they take a post you’re in and say, embed it from your blog:

You can go back to the post and edit it to whatever you want and it will appear in the article like that. So you can do things like add “pay me royalties” 100 times

and upload 10 pictures of Waluigi in the T Pose

And ruin the article formatting.

@afro-elf

didyousaymaraudersormurder:

tinyluxmachine:

kikisdeliveryservice1989:

did Harry Potter really have a currency called a knut??? how did preteen (and let’s be real twenty year old) wizards deal w that??

“and how are you paying for your preordered copy of “Super Rad And Probably Very Dangerous Beasts And Where To Totally Find Them” by Rubeus Hagrid?

“with deez knuts”

This is the funniest thing I’ve ever seen I’ve been laughing for 5 minutes please send help